I consider learning Russian.

Mary Dunwich writes:

My daughter informs me that Uzbekistan is "nearly in Russia". I wonder if my student Uri speaks Russian? Maybe he could help me learn it. I rather fancy learning Russian.

I have wanted to learn Russian ever since I realised that my parents distrusted and disliked the Russians. Perversely, this fostered a fascination in me, a desire to learn all I could about this mysterious and devious foreign types. I loved spy films. Foreigners being devious and exotic (and generally rather sexy), wonderful. I've loved learning foreign languages ever since watching the "Ipcress File". My only regret is that no-one's ever tried to brainwash me. Maybe they already have. How would I know?

Mind you, my parents also had little time for the Germans, the French or the Americans. In fact I think they distrusted pretty much everyone, except the the Canadians, the New Zealanders and the Swiss. What the Swiss have ever done to deserve my parents' approval is anyone's guess. It was a Swiss scientist who proved the great Englishman Newton wrong about the way gravity works. Yes Albert, I am looking at you! I suppose you think it's clever.

Oh dear, I've started talking to my son's incorporeal friends now. I hope I'm not coming down with schizotypy. Perhaps I should go and see those psychologists too.

I'm still sulking about missing out on this Oxford trip, so I'm pretending not to be interested in the research study Harry's taking part in. On the quiet I've been thinking about it quite a lot.
I've looked "schizotypy" up on Wikipedia, the fount and source of all knowledge. It has a lot to say, although in quite long words so I shall have to think about it over a pot of tea and a custard cream.

Mmm....

'Claridge' (who's he then?) says that schizotypy isn't 'psychoticism' (that means being mad, I assume), it's being a person who experiences 'unusual experiences', 'cognitive disorganisation', 'introverted anhedonia' and 'impulsive nonconformity'. What's that all about?

I thoughtfully picked at a blob of dodo-poo which had stuck to my trousers. I'd put my clean pair on but I've forgotten where I put them. No-one's going to see what I'm wearing today anyway, apart from the school run I'm not going anywhere and I don't talk to the other parents when I get there.

I wonder if this 'Claridge' is the person in charge of the Oxford research study?

I shall have to ask Harry all about it when he gets back. As long as the Devil doesn't get overexcited and talk to him all the way through his tests. If he's having a one-sock day I'd get more sense talking to James.