Will a black hole swallow up James' football lesson?

Dances with Werewolves writes:

They switched on the Large Hadron Collider at CERN today! I am so excited! To mark the importance of the day I am wearing my T-shirt from the Department of Really Weird Science at the University of Harrogate (the best physics laboratories and the best tea shop of any university in Britain).

James, Minnie and I watched the event live on BBC News 24 at 8:30 this morning, just before we set off for school. James asked how likely it was that the experiment would create a mini black hole that would swallow up the earth before his football practice this morning.

"Not very likely," I said, "and if the experiment does destroy all life on earth then that won't be a very interesting result. Theoretical physicists are hoping that it will create a mini-worm hole that we can use to travel backwards and forwards in time and space. As far as I can understand it, the switching on of the system this morning will cause the fabric of time and space in our solar system to bend and warp and flap about a bit before springing back into its usual shape. If we are still all here at tea-time then everything is OK."

I explained to James on the walk to school that the experiments that CERN are performing will help us arrive at a Grand Theory of Everything. "Albert Einstein would be so happy today!" I said. "Wherever he is now, I hope he is looking on."