A new addition to the family

It was one o'clock sharp when my son and his girlfriend came arrived at the back door. As I was busy scolding Charlie for showing up covered in plaster dust, I didn't pay much attention to James and Kate until I had sat down and started to eat. James and Kate tucked into their pizzas like kids who haven't eaten a square meal in hours.

"Didn't you have your picnic?" I asked.

"That was HOURS ago," answered James through a mouthful of Seven Cheeses Hot 'n Greasy.

I looked more closely at the pair. They looked tired, flushed and smug. Ah, first love, I thought. Then I looked more closely. They weren't so much flushed as....

"Sunburn?" I wondered aloud. "And your hair....it's not wet! That's odd...."

"It was summer where we went," answered James, helping himself to potato salad.

"Where did you go?" I asked, wondering if I would like the answer.

"2130," answered James after a hurried consultation with Kate.

"21:30?" I asked, glancing at the kitchen clock.

"No, the YEAR 2130," replied James with patronising calm. "It turns out the Dunwiches are still living in Dusty Mouldings. We met my grandson."

I gaped. Charlie helped himself to the tomato salad.

"He's really nice!" contributed Kate, handing me her mobile phone. I stared, bewildered, at the picture of a man. He could have been in his early forties and led an exciting youth, or in his fifties and taking good care of himself. It was hard to tell, especially with the wrap-around sunglasses, the purple, black and white striped spiky hair and the diamond nose-stud.

"Virus!" said Kate.

"Really?" I asked, still staring. James rolled his eyes. Kate smirked.

"That's his NAME," replied James in a still more patronising tone. I sighed and handed the mobile to Charlie.

It takes a lot to surprise my husband. He didn't even pause in his chewing as he studied his great-grandson's image.

"How old is he?" asked Charlie, while my brain tried to reboot.

James shrugged.

"74," answered Kate.

"He looks good on it!" said Charlie.

"He's had most of his organs replaced," said Kate with the authority of one who is top of her year in science. "Eyes, heart, liver, spleen and fingertips. He said he should live to about 300 if he avoids celery and hamsters."

"Is that your family tree project sorted out?" asked Charlie. James nodded. "And the science project too!" ha replied smugly. "Virus is going to help us with it. He's got some really cool tools. We spent all evening in his workshop."

Kate yawned. I glanced at her watch. It said "10:00".

"Why don't you two have an afternoon nap?" I suggested, my brain finally coming back online. "Kate can crash out on Minnie's bed. You'll never make it through to bedtime otherwise. Oh, and there's some aftersun cream in the bathroom cupboard. I should put some on on that sunburn if I were you."

James and Kate nodded, both yawning now, stood up rather unsteadily and made their way upstairs.

I looked at Charlie. Charlie looked at me, shrugged, and went to fetch the ice cream.